Motherhood is magical and hard.

You can go through the highest highs and the lowest lows and it doesn't help that when you going through all this 'mom guilt' decides to show up and makes you feel 10 times worse about yourself.

Happy Monday my Britzie's, Hi Mamas how are you doing? Like honestly not the, "I'm good" line you give to everyone that asks, it's okay to not be good, I'm not good either!

The one thing I've learnt about motherhood is that you are so judgemental towards yourself for not having it all together and there are many times where you feel like the world's worst parent. I often find myself longing for the days of my daughter being a cute cuddly little infant that was all smiles and easy to manage but now I have a toddler that throws exorcism-worthy tantrums for just about everything. Oh, and let's not forget to mention that I now fear silence because silence most probably means that she is doing something which is going to take me at least an hour to clean up afterward.

Now don't get me wrong there are certain things that I love about the phase that she is in. I love watching her explore her world and her fascination with every new thing she discovers, I love the way she learns new words and our many conversations which mostly consists of her putting together every word she knows even though it makes no sense, I love the way she tries to be so independent while still remaining my little baby, I love watching her play and hearing her laugh and the way it is so easy to forget about the little terror she can be.

Motherhood is magical and hard. You can go through the highest highs and the lowest lows and it doesn't help that when you going through all this 'mom guilt' decides to show up and makes you feel 10 times worse about yourself. Yesterday I had one of those extreme lows and I just couldn't anymore. I wanted to take my little one to the park thinking it would be so nice for all of us to get out and to spend the day together as a family but as I was trying to get her ready she just kept crying for absolutely no reason and I lost it. I gave her to my husband I got done and I left. At first, I felt like I never wanted to stop driving or to ever go back home because 'mom guilt' came and told me that I'm literally the worst mother ever for leaving. I eventually just pulled over and had a good cry, I then went to the closest coffee shop took a book and sat there for a few hours and when I felt like I was no longer at the brink of having a breakdown I went back home. After hours of deliberation, I decided that I would no longer feel bad about it. Yes, my actions may have seemed extreme but it was weeks of frustration that had been building up and I snapped. I didn't even realize just how much I needed that break. I needed it for my daughter's sake as much as for my own.

I'm always talking about the importance of self-love and self-care and how time outs are important and just how important it is for a mother as well I mean I wrote all about it in my blog about mother-hood. As a mother you have to nurture your child's physical and emotional well being but how do you do that when you having nothing more to give? And then we make ourselves feel guilty for it. This is not what motherhood is supposed to be. Sometimes it sucks, yes! Sometimes it’s exhausting, yes! Those are universal truths and it does not mean that you love your children any less.

The biggest hurdle is to let go of the idea that good moms don’t need breaks so if you feel like you're on the brink of a breakdown it is necessary to step back and walk away for a while. I know it’s hard to not feel guilty about it, but you will be amazed at how much of a difference a little time to yourself can make. Good moms make sure their children’s mother is taken care of, period!

Much love my Britzie's XOXO