Like many new moms, I had no idea what really being a mom was all about. I thought that since I am now a stay at home mom I'm going to have it all together,
Hey, Britzie's. Let me start off this blog by telling all you mamma's what a great job you're doing! As a mom, I know this is something we need to hear often but it just does not come often enough!
As I type this post my now 10-month-old is playing in her designated play area (which is pretty much the entire house) in nothing but a diaper. It pretty much looks like someone broke in and just threw toys everywhere, but hey that is a problem I will deal with later.
Like many new moms I had no idea what really being a mom was all about. I thought that since I am now a stay at home mom I'm going to have it all together, my baby would always be picture ready, my home would look like a something you'd find on Pinterest and it would always be so clean that you could eat off the floor. I thought that my husband would always have a wonderfully cooked meal every night and his clothing will be washed and pressed ready for work every day. Can I just take a second to laugh at myself for thinking that would be my life. It's 10 months later and I still don't have it all figured out.
In the beginning, I was so hard on myself for not having it all together. I was constantly trying to be the perfect housewife and mother. Once I became a stay at home mom after being rather independent financially I felt like it was expected since I was no longer contributing financially. I also felt like I was not entitled to complain about how hard my day was or how lonely I felt so I kept it all in thinking that I was failing miserably in life, I felt like I was ungrateful and that no one understood. I was so wrong! I realized this on a day when I was at my lowest and actually decided to google my "failing mom" syndrome, as I called it, and came across one of those questions and answer blogs where moms shared their concerns and experiences. I literally felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was not alone! There were so many moms that felt exactly the way I felt.
I feel like we never really know what lies ahead of us as most moms usually just tell us about the sleepless nights or how they barely have a social life anymore, but no one really tells you how it will take some time to find a balance in your life. They also don't tell you that it is OK to not be the mom that only feeds your baby organic foods or that it is OK to be the mom that hasn't bathed in two days (trust me it happens). They don't tell you that it is perfectly fine if your idea of a cute hairstyle is brushing your hair out and then just putting it right back into a bun or that it is definitely OK to ask your partner to help you even though he was at work all day. They don't tell you that it is more than OK for you to speak about how challenging motherhood is without feeling like you're ungrateful or feeling like complaining means you don't love being a mom. You can do all those and still be the greatest mom ever!
I finally realized that I had to just give up on trying to be the perfect housewife and mom. If the house was a mess and I wanted to cuddle with my baby then that was exactly what I did and believe me, it made me love motherhood so much more. I just decided if anyone had a problem with the mess they could clean it up themselves. The most important thing I learnt that I would love to share with other moms is that we should not be so hard on ourselves. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other moms because we are doing our very best but most importantly we need to stop worrying about the little things. Everything will get done in time so don't feel guilty about asking daddy to take care of the baby while you tidy up or spending some time taking care of yourself.
I think the most important thing to remember as a mom is that our little ones are not going to be little forever we need to cherish the time we have with them but we also need to learn to not neglect ourselves, you cannot pour anything out of an empty jug. The best thing we can give our kids is a partially sane mother and our time.
Much love my Britzie’s XOXO
"Don't compare yourself to other mothers. We are all losing our shit. Some just hide it better than others."-mums grapevine
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