I'm not completely there yet but I know that it takes time, every day gets a little better and a little easier, I also choose to look at this as something to learn from and not a setback.
Happy Monday my loves, I know it's been a minute. It feels so good to be creating a blog again, I honestly can't believe it's been almost a year since my last post but I needed some time to work on my mental health. I hope you are all good though and staying safe. Let's get into it, and happy reading.
Let me start by explaining what PDD is, PDD (Persistent depressive disorder) is the official term for High-functioning depression. Yes, it is a real thing, PDD has very similar symptoms to depression but it is a little less severe. You function mostly normally, in most areas of your life. This type of depression can be a little trickier since it's so much harder to detect for both the person going through it and for everyone around you because everything seems perfectly normal on the outside but internally you are pretty much a mess.
Some of the symptoms of PDD as set out by most psychiatrists are: Insomnia or oversleeping, low self-esteem, feeling sad or hopeless, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, weight loss, or weight gain. Symptoms also occur on most days for at least two years. These are just some of the most common symptoms but it's different for everyone. As much as PDD is also less severe than depression you also risk experiencing episodes of major depression, this means that during an episode of major depression you might lose your usual functionality in one or more areas of your life.
Okay, so now that we have the explanation and symptoms out of the way I can get to why I'm even bringing this up. I've been struggling with PDD for a while now but last year it went from PDD to major depression. To be honest, I didn't even notice it because I was so consumed with work, my studies, being a mom, and just being there for friends that my daily struggle was something I just pushed aside or brushed off. It wasn't until it got to its absolute worse that I realized that something was seriously wrong and then it was a little too late.
I think the hardest part for me was not fully understanding why I was feeling the way I was feeling, I thought I was okay but the second I was not doing something I fell apart. Later on, I even developed extreme social anxiety to the point that being around people was an actual struggle. When I finally accepted that something was not wrong with me I could finally understand what was going on and I could find ways to deal with it.
I'm not completely there yet but I know that it takes time, every day gets a little better and a little easier, I also choose to look at this as something to learn from and not a setback. Most importantly I've learnt to be a little kinder to myself and a little more selfish about protecting my peace and taking time out for my mental health.
I know I've said this before and I would like to say this again, I share my struggles so that other people know that they are not alone. So that they know that it's okay to fall apart and that you will be able to put yourself back together again but it takes time, and I guess I also share my story so that other people learn that we don't all have it all together even when it may seem that way so be a little kinder with your words and actions.
"And if today all you did was hold yourself together, I'm proud of you"
Much love my Britzie’s XOXO
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