"It is both tragic
and freeing to accept
that your family is not
capable of being the
family you always
needed them to be."
The thing about toxic relationships is that everyone will tell you to walk away from them but they rarely tell you how difficult that is! especially when it's family, but what do you do when a relationship with a family member leaves you feeling worthless and helpless? What do you do when that relationship makes you feel like you do not recognize who you are because it brings out the worst in you? What do you do when that relationship makes you question your life and makes you feel like the world would be a better place if you were not in it?
Most of us have this storybook version of what any relationship should look like and we often have to face the harsh truth- that reality is far from it. Relationships are hard, period! and we have to really work towards them to make them work but if your relationship feels like a never-ending cycle of trying to repair things, finding new methods because the old ones are just not working and, still things don't change and at the end of it all you just feel worse and worse and the situations just go from one extreme to the next then there has to be a stop button. It's like every relationship has this invisible line that you're just not supposed to cross, and once it has been crossed it just means that things have been taken too far and there has to be a point where you say enough. Families are not supposed to do things like that to one another! People are not supposed to do things like that to one another!
But believe me enough is a bitter pill to swallow, enough leads to months of dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes you feel so hurt and angry that you were put in the situation in the first place, sometimes you feel so guilty and selfish that you cry yourself to sleep. Sometimes you question yourself and you wonder if you were just overreacting, "Yes, if the situation applied to someone else you'd agree with their decision but you still question yourself and, sometimes you have so much relief that it feels like mountains have been removed from your shoulders, you feel like a better person, you feel like you are filled with so much light and love and you feel so free.
I guess the truth in all of this is that leaving hurts but staying hurts too. There is no right way to deal with situations like these, only you can decide what is right for you and if it's time to walk away. Just know that it’s okay to end a toxic relationship – even with a family member.
Much love my Britzie’s XOXO
ความคิดเห็น